Making a Change

There's a certain sort of change that all of us, as individuals, can make. We're not particularly inclined to do so, because it doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun from the outside. But the fact that it is soooo meaningful, should make it worth it. If it doesn't, you don't understand your purpose here on earth.

Your purpose: to make it out on top. Not on top of the world, with the most money or fame or glory. Just to die in confidence of who you are, of having been someone who was good and strong and left the world better than they found it. Someone who, personally, became their best selves.

You can do this. You can reach a point in your lives where you are more than content with who you are. You harbor no deep insecurities. The difficulty is that the path there isn't very much fun. The truth is: it's a lot of hard work. It involves tearing yourself down so that you can plainly see all the things you don't like about yourself. So that you can fix them. It's really the only way.

One way is to make an example of the most perfect man on earth: Jesus Christ. It really shouldn't matter whether or not you believe he actually existed, that can come later. What matters is learning to act in a way you can see him act. Because selflessness and charitable service are two major things that help us create of ourselves someone we can be proud of. Someone worth being. So study the man, if you haven't already. Learn first: what he did. Learn next: why he did it. Learn last: where his heart was. And by extension, where your heart should be.You can do good things all day, but you won't be satisfied with yourself until your not only doing them, but believing them. wanting to do them. Doing it not for yourself, but completely and honestly, for others.

Yeah, that sounds hard. That's because it is hard. It will be hard. But it must be done if you want to get out of the rut you are stuck in. You need to be the person you want to become in order to become them. There you go.

It's simple, but it's infinitely complex. Changing your heart to the degree that is required will require constant effort, for the rest of your life. But don't lose heart: you'll learn to be happy with that along the way.

Work hard. Be who you want to become. Reach out to others. Serve with pure love. Next thing you know, you're going to bed at night with a smile on your face because you are working towards something worth it. You know it, intrinsically, you know it.

You don't have to fight it.

***

Watch out. Don't think that because you're not perfect, you're not good enough and it's not even worth fighting for. You are good enough. Continuing to try even when it gets hard, even when it seems impossible; that's what makes you worth it. Push forward, ever forward. You won't regret it.

Generativity—Be the Trailblazer!

I am only one, but I am one. If I can't do everything, then I can do something. What I can do, that I ought to do. And what I ought to do, by the Grace of God, I shall do.

—Edward Everett Hale

Psychologists have drawn out a specific way and order to how we as people grow. These are knows as Erikson's-Stages-of-Psychosocial-Development, after the guy that formed it. Follow the link to see the in-depth Wikipedia description of these stages, but I'll give a brief overview here:

From ages 0-2, we learn to either trust or mistrust the world around us. At 2-4 years, we begin to form our sense of self, followed by learning to act and make decisions based on only ourselves, not what others tell us to do. At 5-12 years, we start trying to make ourselves a part of society—we see if we can make it in the world. At 13-19, we form our identity, and 20-24 we learn intimacy. From the large gap of ages 25-65, we start trying to make a difference in the world—leave the world a better place since we're past our prime and facing the reality of leaving it. This is called Generativity vs. Stagnation. Last is until death, Ego Integrity vs. Despair, where we come to terms with who we were, and who we have been since our time is gone.

I studied this at a pretty young age, and found that it didn't apply all that well to me, because I completely skipped a few of the stages. I was in an awkward stage where I failed to form my identity in my teenage years, and managed to find myself in my young adult years. But I mostly skipped that stage, because I did have a foundation—I knew since well before thirteen who I was, but I didn't gain confidence in it until twenty. I totally and completely intentionally skipped the Isolation vs. Intimacy stage(being quite content with the Isolation side of things), and took a head dive into what we call Generativity. Even as a teenager, I was focused on who I would look back on myself as, and if I could care more about others than myself.

We're all going to hit that point. And we're going to spend a whole lot of years working through it. So, as someone who has already started, let me inspire you to unearth Generativity, and not Stagnation.

Dude, you have all your life to give to the future generation. After all, they are the ones who come after. They'll still be here when we are gone. They need to know everything we know, and what with the world like it is today, let's teach them the right things!

Few others seem to be doing it.

I felt so pampered as a kid. Okay, well I didn't recognize it as a kid, but I do now. I was totally pampered. So I think it would be appropriate for me to pamper the next generation, cause I think I turned out pretty decent.

But I get that not everyone led the blissfully sheltered childhood that I did. For those who suffered in their most vulnerable years, research has shown that you tend to grow up to be like those who raised you. Be careful. I know that what you went through was hard, but the next generation doesn't deserve to take the loss because of it. Give them something better than you had.

Leave your mark. Make yourself known. It may not end up in the history books, no one even needs to remember your name. But if you know you made a difference, that frustrating step of Ego Integrity vs. Despair won't come haunting you. I would like to die knowing I did something with my life. It doesn't have to be significant.

After all, you make a bigger difference than you know. Random people I met on the streets have changed me. They had no idea they did. You could be one of them.

Be the person you would be inspired by. Show it when you leave your house. You can have no regrets doing that.

While you act, remember that your intentions are perhaps the most important thing. Change the world one step at a time—but remember why you do it.

Your reasons aren't going to be the same as mine. I can't tell you why you will do it. You've got to figure that one out on your own.

(If your having difficulty with the why, reconnect with your identity. You're why will come from You. Who you are can become your why.)

It's not enough to be artistic or scientific or book-smart or street-smart or creative or religious. You've got to share that. If you're the only one benefiting from it...where's the benefit?

To become who you want to be, be who you want to become. It really is the only way.

Live life with an eye on the future. Reflect on the present from a time that hasn't happened yet. What's worth it in your life? It's a lot easier to know the answers in hindsight.

Good thing we can fake hindsight.

Consider it. In many ways, the world is falling apart.

We can be a piece of the solution.

***

This post doesn't talk a lot about the why, but remember it. It's what will keep you going when life gets you down. We can be cheery for a while under false pretenses, but to keep it going we need purpose. We need a why. Don't find yourself without it right when you need it most.