Where to Turn in Times of Trouble

All you have to do is whatever it takes.

—Scrubs

This is going to be a toughie. It's something on my mind, but it's difficult to address such in a way that everyone will be able to benefit from it. In case you haven't guessed, I really want everyone to be able to walk away from these posts with an idea on how to make their life better. However, not everyone can turn to the same sources for help in times of trouble. So I'm going to offer everywhere I can think of, and maybe you'll find one that fits you.

Disclaimer: not all of these are going to fit everyone. You don't have to agree with everything I say, and you can mix to match. Just find something that works for you. Maybe you'll find a few somethings.

One: Turn to what you love. When things get hard, sometimes the answer is not to immediately face it with intent to destroy. Sometimes we aren't ready for that. No, instead we need to get away from it, and turn to a source that will leave us calm, reasonable, and thinking clearly. One such example in my life is the piano. When I play, I feel completely at ease. I can feel comfort and allow my thoughts to fall into abstraction while I focus on the notes. Another place is a good book. If you like reading adventure/fiction, you can turn to a story about a hero you admire. Strength can falter at times, but you will be amazed at the courage you can find when following the example of a fictional character.

Do you like to sing, dance, photograph, play an instrument, cook, ride your bike, jog, study, draw, paint, work out, listen to [wholesome, no metal or agitating] music, or take naps? Everyone can find something. For goodness sake, go play some Solitaire.

You'll be surprised by how soothing cleaning the house or doing dishes can be.

Remember: some habits are bad. Find hobbies, not addictions. You want your escape to be something that is at least mildly productive. Avoid shopping, drugs, or things like video games, where you can loose track of time. Pick something that will quickly calm you, and allow you to get back to work in a timely matter, with your mind in tack and your wallet safe.

Two: Turn to gratitude, aka, count your blessings. Recognize that your struggles could always be worse, so you can be grateful for your lot. If we could all dump our problems out for everyone else to see, you would grab your own pile back. Quickly.

Can't think of anything to be grateful for? Pick one: your house, your pet, your kids/parents, your talents, the weather, the flowers, your phone, your privacy, your memory, your life, your independence. The lists could go forever, yet you will find that yours is unique to you. You're an individual, with 100% your own life, even if your options are limited. That makes you utterly different from everyone else. Be grateful for that.

Three: Turn to God. Do you believe in something? Treasure it. If you don't believe in anything, not even yourself, you'd better pick something quick. That doesn't mean you have to go join a congregation somewhere or anything like that, you but have to have something, or there is...nothing. If you think everything is a false hope, what does it matter? False hope is still an awful lot nicer than true despair. Particularly because despair is a choice, not a fact. If there is one thing that is utterly imaginary, it is despair. Don't fall into that trap. If everything in the world is imaginary, I chose to utilize the things which will make me happy, not miserable.

For the faithful, the spirit of peace is never far away. You can always turn to God, or gods, and find peace. You've done it before. Pondering is not as hard as it may seem in a time when everything is falling apart. To turn to God is actually the easiest option when all else has failed you. He will comfort you.

Four: Turn forward. Face your problems head-on, with the intent to destroy. Your problems are under your control. Throw it down a chute and move on. Sometimes reverse psychology is a miracle: fight anger toward another by giving them a compliment. Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. Don't think that just because you're not being the powerful one, you didn't win the race. You are the winner when you can put your weakness on the back burner for a time. You are the winner when you trudge ahead even though nothing is better than it was before. You are the winner when you've resolved to leave a lost cause behind, and not let it hinder your progress. You are the winner when you are happy.

It's all up to you. It's not as hard as it seems, but it does take action. So act.

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What do you think? Have any other ideas? Most importantly, what's worked for you? Remember that you are the maker of your own destiny. You can choose happiness and peace, or misery and chaos. It may not seem like it, but it really is that simple.